Stagnant water gets gross

Age brings fear when it should bring boldness

I inched up to the edge of what felt like a vertical ski slope, and went for it. 

Skipping work one Monday,  I caught a bus with two colleagues before dawn to the Austrian alps.  I rented gear and was on lift, after lift to the top of the mountain.  Skateboarding for eighteen years,  I figured by the time I got to the bottom I would know how to snowboard.

Seeing the clouds below us, as I stumbled off the ski lift.  It was pretty clear - mistakes were made.  Looking down the scope I exhaled, leaned forward, and crushed it!  

Nah, that didn't happen.

 I was terrified, (worth mentioning — I am not a fan of heights, wouldn't say scared, rather extremely height conscious.)

Sitting with my feet over the edge I started slowly sliding down feet first, using the snowboard to stop me every few seconds.  

It took hundreds of metres of trying much further down the mountain. But eventually I got the hang of it.  A few hours later I was sore, happy I wore a helmet, but I was snowboarding!

When I look at my life now, that's not really me anymore. The times of me spontaneously going snowboarding, or moving meetings for a 4 day road trip, have been replaced with a guy who got up early so I could get some writing in before my son wakes up.

A few days ago I almost ate shit slipping on wet leaves getting home from work. So I ended up changing my plans so I could clear the porch. I debated myself if I should book that upcoming trip with friends, or if that money is better used to buy a new closet. I put off skateboarding until I could get disability insurance, and put the winter tires on early looking at the weather forecast.

You get the idea.
Times have changed.  

I see my sense of urgency fading like the ink of last month's grocery receipt. It makes me nervous, because the most meaningful change, and best memories in my life comes from the moments where I completely left my comfort zone or as a result of some urgency.

Landing my first big client, I was drowning in “busy”, but convinced to take a trip. The start of that roadtrip had us crashing a wedding in Spain and meeting my future wife. She was a bridesmaid and I wasn’t invited. The picturesque wedding with the sandstone house with an infinity pool on the coast, where the rain breaks, and sun beams down just as the ceremony starts.  My life so far is full of these moments.,That made me who I am today.

I’ve met people who seem like they are stuck, living the same repetitive day for years. They have built a life for themselves, and start to fear change.
Stagnant water gets gross. That’s not the life I want. 

“We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experience is a narrowing of the imagination.”
― David Lynch

Cool Dominik why bring this all up? You’ve had a cool life. 

I’ve now spent six years at the same company, just bought a house, have a small boy and am getting married soon. I love my new life! Though I know if I’m not careful I feel 10 years could go by in a blink.  The practicalities of having a house, a kid, and a full time job keeps us busy.

If I'm lucky, most of my life is still ahead of me. Knowing how much I’ve grown already,  “What would I become if I continued doing what I’ve always done?” Do I actually need to take big risks? 

How my views on boldness, risk, and urgency have changed.  

As a guy who feels my character was created by risk taking, and moments of urgency. 
My views have shifted.  I have a life I love, and I want to keep it. I understand the fear of not wanting life to change.

Growing older brings a new boldness. It isn’t about big risks and spontaneously snowboarding.  Rather it’s in the small choices I can make. Prioritising myself and not just accepting that I'm now busy.

“Busy is a choice” - said by someone. 

As I get older I have more access, more knowledge, more resources, and opportunities to take more smaller risks. Just that I need to remember to keep putting myself in situations to grow. Increasing the frequency rather than size of my actions.

Examples you ask for? Here are two.

1. Two weeks ago I paid to join a 1 hour call with someone in Thailand. Connecting to another participant, afterward they invited me to see them speak at an event. After moving to a new country, and not knowing anyone in my industry I flew down to Oslo. Taking that action, I ended up at dinner meeting all the speakers. 

2. Two years ago we relocated to Norway to be near the grandparents. What having support could do for us was worth the risk. It sounds like a huge swing but was just a series of small uncomfortable changes putting us in a better place today. 

Settling into change
I’m excited in new ways. The sound of a train of all things. Knowing my son will excitedly call out “TUT TUT”! Pumping his two year old fist up and down.

I’m still down for a dance party, though it’s contrasting to see my new Joy of missing out. I am happy to end my day early. Skipping an event or adventure. Staying in to go to bed early, and looking forward to how I can use that time in the morning. 

Boldness is no longer  just the big swings and constant urgency rather than intentionally bringing small changes into my life. 

I could either navigate fear to channel growth or risk waking up in 10 years and realising I’ve been on autopilot.

In a world where people are protecting their stagnant pools. I want to be building rivers to my lake, swimming, and pumping up the jam.

Technotronic - Pump Up The Jam (Official Music Video)

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Thank you to everyone who help me get this

Brandon Weaver, Vidhika Bansal, Rik van den Berge,  Evaristelle Maki, Rachel Parker, CansaFis Foote, Eric ho,

Charlie D. Becker

, My sister, Lisbeth Bjerva, and Christina Fang ….for reviewing and helping me get this to a cleaner state. Your conversation helped me clarify my thinking. Thanks for making my life better.